Monday, May 10, 2010

Taz Talks

A-hem! It turns out that there has been a blog going on in my house for some little while -- a blog about training people, no less -- and I have not been invited to participate. Luckily, I'm not the kind of guy who stands on ceremony, and the Cheese Mom, who usually writes this blog, is otherwise engaged. (I am a lucky dog. I have both a Cheese Mom who is good at games with fabulous prizes and a Running Mom. Every dog should have this. Also an extra running partner called Peggy to take them on days when the Running Mom doesn't run. But I digress.)

What I was trying to say is that apparently this is a blog about training people, which is a subject that I know lots about. All dogs know plenty about training people -- starting tens of thousands of years ago when we started training you to feed us. I won't try to explain to you all of what I know about training people, as I expect I'll be able to get back to the computer at points future. For now, I thought I'd just pass on a few tips about a subject that people seem to be very interested in: food and exercise. Dogs are also very interested in food and exercise, but smarter, as indicated by the fact that you are the ones who have to go hunt down the food, while we get to eat it. Here are a few things I know that you should to:

  • Anything I can see, I will eat. Can you tell me that you are any different? If you don't want it to get eaten, hide it.
  • There are very few places you can hide food that I won't find them. You have opposable thumbs. Hiding it probably won't help. If you don't want to eat it, don't bring it in the house. (While there is plenty of stuff I can't get to, the cat can reach practically anything. And I make him share.)
  • We all need to chew on stuff. Dogs know this. People pretend otherwise. But seriously, don't you want to munch on stuff even when you're not hungry? Smart people give us dogs chew toys and bully sticks and kongs and stuff so that we don't eat the furniture. Why are there not better chew toys for people? Mama chews on gum. Coretta, my dog-sister, tried a pack and said it wasn't bad.
  • Exercise should be entertaining. For instance, running is best if you are chasing something, or something is chasing you. If you don't find chasing entertaining then find something else that's fun. People in my house like dancing. Also dogs in my house like dancing -- I'll put up video some time.
  • I get treats when I do something clever. How come people can just open up boxes and bags of treats and chow down without doing nothing for it? No fair. You should do something clever or useful before you have a treat. That way you will not only eat fewer treats, you will also be more clever and useful.
Uh-oh. The Cheese Mom is coming back for the computer. Gotta run. But hey, if anyone else has hot tips on food and exercise to share with people and humans, post a comment and let me know!

Wags and kisses,


  1. good job, Taz! the world needs more dog-bloggers

  2. Dear Taz,
    I've also noticed that if you hide the strawberry plants with the mint plants then I smell good after I eat strawberries. Mom seems to like this a lot and snuggles me extra when I'm minty.

    Cousin Cici

    p.s. did you know I'm six now? That seems like a very important age.

  3. Dear Atticus and Cici,

    Hey -- cool to connect here. Atticus is my new computer friend. Cici is my cousin who looks like a tiny sheep, but they call her a poodle. Cici, I recently turned 5. If you are older than me, why are you so little?


  4. I was five for a really really long time. Nearly as long as I was four. I put all my size into my bark and my personality. I like being little. It means I can crawl under the shelves at the pet shop and find all the good things that get dropped. It also means I can stand anywhere on mom and she doesn't usually mind. Emma's so big that sometimes mom has to rearrange her, but I get to stay where I want to be. Also, I can hide in places where you won't fit.