Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Taz Talks -- Teaching People to Come When Called

Mama says she wants her blog back, but my friend Calli specifically asked that I write more about training people. Calli is a very smart dog (she's a Belgian Shepherd like me, but not fluffy), and I think we should respect her wishes. After all, if Mama is gonna take requests from her sister, why shouldn't I get to respond to my friends?

So here it is. Taz on training people: The Recall

Every dog wants their person to come when called, but people have a really annoying habit of ignoring you because they're "busy" at the computer or watching television or helping with homework or reading a book or whatever boring thing it is that people do when they're not paying attention to dogs. However, teaching your person to come when called is really very simple: Make a lot of noise.

Honestly, that's all there is to it. People cannot resist responding to big, agitated noise. Run to the door barking like your head is going to explode. Keep barking. They'll come check it out, guaranteed. And no matter how many times they say "You silly animal, there's nothing out there," or "What, all that noise about a squirrel?" they will still come. People just have a thing about big, agitated noise.

Don't believe me? Just turn on the talking radio or that Snooze Channel on TV. There's people who have shows that tons and tons of people listen to because those guys are barking super loud and agitated, and so people figure it's important. And they keep barking, so people figure what they say has to be true. It's like this -- Glen Bark: "OMG! OMG! OMG! There's a cat on the lawn! There's a cat on the lawn and it's gonna eat your grandma. The cat on the lawn is dangerous and scary and has big teeth and claws and it's gonna eat your grandma! It's a black cat, which is the scariest, most dangerous kind, and it might be after all a panther arrived here from Florida and it's definitely gonna eat your grandma!"

Oh wait, maybe that was me this morning. But Mama came when I called her like that, and millions of people around the world can be counted on to show up and pay attention if you just make enough noise and get all bent out of shape. It doesn't matter whether anything's actually there or not. Although there was a cat. I think. Maybe that was yesterday.

Wags and kisses,


  1. It doesn't HAVE to be a big, agitated noise. The best way I've found to call my human is to start making that pre-barfing noise. Uurp, uurp, uurp...gets attention any time, even when the human is sound asleep.

    Vixen, using Mom's computer

  2. So true, Vixen, and that one also works for cats.